Pondering the Dizzy

Pondering the Dizzy

He makes me feel so…

Girly.

Like twirling my hair and batting my lashes.

Makes me want to melt into his arms and stay there.

Oh and he,

He makes me feel so special.

And

Strong

And

Steady

And,

Beautiful.

But he,

Ooh I swear the stars twinkle at daybreak.

His eyes land on me,

And my gosh,

My feet fly in front of me.

But

 He,

He feels so warm.

His smiles make me smile.

His hands tug at mine

And this feeling,

Overwhelms me.

I can’t handle the thought of leaving,

But,

I know that when I see him again,

It’ll be worth it.

He caresses my face

And my eyes close.

His lips touch mine

And I

And I see Heaven.

My God,

When he comes around,

Ooh,

My body lights

And I join him.

But when he comes around,

I get butterflies

But not the right kind.

I see stars,

But their short.

I feel heat,

But it’s harsh after a while.

But his arm is sweet.

But darn it,

When he,

When he comes around,

I forget about him.

Crazy For You

named after my fav song......he goes my poem


Crazy for Him

When I say I miss him,

You wouldn’t understand.

I see his face on everyone

With his eye color or quick walk.

To say what I wouldn’t give

To be back in his presence,

Well,

That’s between God and I.

But my heart doesn’t beat

Without a thought of him.

Its gets so bad sometimes,

He pisses me off when he,

Then he invades my dreams- a lie

Concocted by my subconscious

Or,

A bug planted from his hugs.

Never will I know.

But darn him.

I miss him.

Unknown book title but this book will be awesome

this is a little bit about a new book idead i woke up this morning to write. so here goes:

I don’t talk about him, my son. I don’t acknowledge his exsistence. They ,ight take away my daughter too. My husband is dead. Fought in a war that never ended. He too, have been written out of exsistence, only by the memories of people who forgot The Great War or who refuse to bring it up out of fear they might my pershish from record. David was right. We know whats going on, we’re just in denial.

I'm not. Not anymore.

 Killed my best friend in my face. A silent bullet to back of the head. They tried to kill me. But I woke up.

And I remember everything.

Finding Me

So, yesterday at school one of my classes had this big debate or discussion rather about the protest outside of Bank of America on main street in Dallas, Texas. well, its not so much the protest that bugs me, itsthe fact that in mynext class, there werepeopleactually in the protest andhad all their things to campout and fight for the cause(They’re fed up with what they describe as corporate greed. They’re mad about Wall Street bailouts, and they’re frustrated with declining economic opportunities for millions of Americans.-Dallasnews.com)

My trouble is, and i know this is biggerthan me,but these kids re in a protest! God knows what could happen and still, they march, they stand up, they speak up. so my questions is, why arent I? What's my purpose? Is it to protest for a cause? Save a soul? i dont know. So far i've been pretty good about knowing how I am. I, guest you could say I found my way.but know that I'veseen these pretty normal looking kids, people who you'd never inagine standing up for Occupy Dallas, its really making me feel like, okay, what are you going tro do? I mean I'm not going to go and protest but, still, how am I making an impact on the world? What am I doing to better our world? Heck I started out recycling and to be honest, I really dont much much effort into that anymore. So again, what am I doing? If i volunteer, I'll volunteer for an art show or something,is that really doing in justice for our community and for our future generations? im so confused or, rather, wondering, what can i do? What should I be doing? and can my writing have that big of influnece on the world? even if i write about UF/F? I dont know. But i hate feeling inadequate.


Kiss, kisss,kisses

Everlasting Peace

truly i am enjoying every bit of my life. God has been good and i am determined not to let the devil get the best of me. taking control of your life when so long its been in someone else's or something's hands and you get free and live your life how God wants you to, it the most beautiful, the most peaceful thing in the world. i promise. things that use to matter, don't matter any more. things that use to take up your time just so you may avoid life become powerless. this year has been a journey and its rounding up this coming October. it will be a year in October that my mom past. i have learn so much about myself and about those around me that its scary. SCARY scary. but i made it, even though i never thought i could. im proud of me. i know Mama Jean is too. i love you luv, stay beautiful and teach those Angels how to love...

kiss kiss no tears this time kiss

8/5/11

proud to say

I am happy as a bird flying low to greet the children he's watched grow from his tight little branch above their home. ahhhhhhh! i just want to scream. But unfortunately there're are people around me and so i can do no such thing.(atleast without disturbing then.)
I have been up since about 7:40 this morning and wrote till about 11:00 this morning. The only bad side of this, was i wrote on the wrong book. When i was suppose to be writing on my Jenna story and i wrote on Savi instead. But like i said Jenna is coming along nicely, i just need a title and to work my outline into the parts ive written which wont be so hard if my computer stop frezzing. But leave it to the computer man who says that it has an antivirus ware on it. right. But!!! The bright side is that i now have a chapter one for Savi that i am satisfied with. There's most of the elements i wanted in it, like the club scenes which im sad to say Savi's not doing the dancing but it works so much better like this. her and her talk with jeremy. the savi and KIm scene was cut ALOT but thats okay cause it works for Kim character and the book together so happy about that. there is the bathroom scene(i like the way i wrote it the first time with her falling outside the door and she kind of sees them being taken, the girl sorta hovers above her in a shadowy fog and she sees the creepy stranger staring at her) the way it now is is better for the story(mabey i'll post the other one day.) We meet several suspicous charaters and we get a sense of all of her friends better than the approach i was using and we meet Tao and his beautiful self. I now have abetter understanding of the thing she calls the spark. how beautiful. im excited. really turely i am.

kiss kiss kisses muah!

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

I'm getting a lot done for my Jenna story. I know I know bad me; I still need a title for it. Ugh, I'm getting there. But so far I have an outline, which I was for the last two years I've decided that I want to write, I thought I didn't need. It isn't that hard, I thought. I'm just telling a story. Its simple, just do this, this and this. Wrong!
I'm glad I have one now. Still, though, I write before I outline. I tend to get to know my characters better that way, even if-like my Jenna short, I have to rewrite alot of it. I think by writing, then outlining, I kind of know what, when, where and why(? Hopefully on that part). But its much easier for me to fill in the gaps than to create new ones so, yea.
Also I have a location, not just some mid-west state and city somewhere on a map. I now know what all races and species are. And I have a means to an end. Meaning I'm not just writing and whatever happens happens-meaning, again, some of my fav scenes had to get cut or done in a different way to keep in tune with the story line, the beginning and ultimately the ending. I love it. And I'm finding out better ways to write and prepare myself to write and research more on my Savi. novels.
This is good stuff. If you didn't know now you do. Be sure and checkout the great advice on http://www.magicalwords.net this place. This is my savior. Love them here! Its a site dedicated to helping authors of fantasy but the knowledge here can be applied to almost every genre of book set in our fictional worlds. So explore, enjoy and write.


Kiss kiss kisses