I Love You

I love you.

I know you said it first.

I know you gave me this different kind of joy.

I know that even when you piss me off,

Still,

 I do too.

I wouldn’t want to change my feelings

Because in the end,

Some love,

 Is always better than none.

To say that I need you,

A lie.

To say I want you,

The truth.

But my heart isn’t ready for you.

I can’t take the pain,

The lies,

The maybes,

The what if’s you like to throw out.

I feel like doing nothing but lying in your arms on most days.

The other days I feel like giving you the world and fighting anyone who wouldn’t do the same.

Can you say the same?

Or are you looking for any arms that will open to you?

It’s not fair.

Life is like that I usually say.

But truth be told,

Love is supposed to be.

Even when it hurts, it’s supposed to still feel like love.

So yes,

I still do.

But you can’t give me what I need,

What I want,

What I deserve.

And I can’t wait.

I don’t deserve to wait.

You say you want this, you need that,

time to change.

Please,

Please don’t experiment on me.

Because I still do.

But my heart can’t handle that.

I accepted it all.

You told me what I wanted.

And still I can read you and your puppy dog eyes when you’ve done something you shouldn’t.

And still,

I forgive.

And still,

I do.

And I never tell you how it hurts.

Because friends is what we are.

And my pain is mine,

But your tales,

Should not be.